Chapter II

Claire and Greg are discussing about their relationship in a hotel’s room.

-We should not be here I mean, I should not be here.
- But we’re here. What’s the problem? What are you thinking about that now?
I like you a lot you know, and you like me too, don’t you? So, what’s the problem?
- You’re married Greg; I am married Greg. This is the problem and I can’t forget that, so I should not be here, I should not be here, that’s all. This is my fault I know. I have thought about our relationship.
- So?
- I don’t want to continue living like this anymore. Hiding, and telling stories to my husband, neglecting my sons. It is not fair for any of us. I don’t want to hurt my family, and I don’t want you to hurt yours. Greg, it’s not fair for our families, or for us.
-I know you’re probably right and I understand you very well, but it is not our fault, not your fault if we love each other. I don’t want to lose you. I just don’ want to lose you. I cannot make the decision on my own. I just need for you to tell me one single word that I have been waiting to hear for a long time, and everything will be settled.
- I am not ready to make this decision yet. I am not ready to leave Henry. He needs me, the kids need him. I am not sure the divorce would be the best thing to do now.
-Wait a minute, you’re kidding. We are not talking about now, we are talking about the time we are together, and did you forget? I told you once, and I shall repeat what I said again, as much as you want. If you leave Henry we can get married, I will take care of you; I will take care of the children; there’s no reason to worry. We wouldn’t’ need to hide anymore. I cannot see another way, for except you to leave Henry. Do you really want to end our relationship? Do you?
- I am not sure. The only thing I know is that I don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel guilty every time we are together. I feel like we are stealing these moments. We are not stealing anything, I know, but this is the way I feel. How should I explain my feelings of guilty? I should be happy, but I can’t stop thinking of when I will be backing home.
- You have to make a decision then everything will be fine. It is up to you to decide.
-Henry has been unemployed for long time, I know, but what do you want me to do? The kids love him, and in his way he loves the kids too.
-Even, Tom?
- Yes, even Tom. Henry is the only father Tom knows, and Tom loves him. Henry does not give Tom the attention he deserves, but Tom loves Henry, and needs him.
- You don’t need Henry, but I need you and you need me. I cannot understand you, Claire? You have told me for 3 years the same story about Henry. Don’t you think 3 years is a lot time? Maybe Henry does not make any effort to find a job because inside of him, he knows you would leave him and this is the only way he knows to keep you with him.
- How can you tell that? He tries hard to get a job.
-The only thing I know is, if you really love me, you wouldn’t find this kind of excuse. Think about me a little; I have had enough of this situation too. You won’t make the decision, and for all our time together, you still insist with the same story? “Henry’s job”.
Claire, Harry’s problems are not your problems. They are his problems, first. You should clear the things up with him. What do you want? What do you really want, Claire? Not to see me anymore? Tell me, and I will respect your decision. I don’t want you to complain and to feel guilty each time we are together.
You know, I like Cate and the kids. We have been married for more than 10 years but my love for you is bigger than anything. And when the day comes, Claire, I will not think twice about telling Cate the truth about you and me. The solution is in your hands Claire; I have been waiting for years for your decision. If you feel guilty now, fine, we don’t need to see each other again. If you come to this point, fine, I am 50 and I don’t want to spend more 5 years of my life waiting for Harry’s job and you to make a decision.
- Not Harry but Henry.
- I don’t care, and I have been patient enough all this time but if you came to tell me again the same story, I am sorry but I cannot accept you being with Henry, expecting him to find a job. Can’t you see he is using you, and your money? You work hard, you take your money to the house and what does he do during this time? Tell me? What does he do? Do you know what does he does all day?
-Please stop arguing like that, I am tired. Maybe you’re right, I really don’t know what he does all day, but I know that sometimes he works at the university. He is studying hard to become a professor at the university. It is just a question of time and it will not take a little longer until I will be able to quit him and not feel guilty.
- You’re not sure about anything. How can you be sure he will be approved for a job at the university? And if he fails what will you do? Just be honest with yourself, don’t use this kind of excuse.
- Maybe you’re right, but I still think about Tom, he is very sensitive and I don’t want him to feel lost and sad if Henry leaves the house.
- So, Henry’s job is not the main reason. The main reason is Tom. Come on, he is not even his real father, come on!
- I want you to stop with that. I don’t want Tom to know about this story. I don’t want to hurt him. He does not deserve it.
- One day Claire, you will have to tell him the truth, why not start now?
- I have to go now. I have a bad feeling, I am not sure Henry will pick Tom at his friend’s house. I have to go now.
- I just wanted to tell you something. Christmas is coming soon and I was wondering if we could spend sometime together. Maybe we can be all together for the Christmas, what do you think? Do you still want to see me?
- I am really confused, Greg, I cannot say anything right now; I have to think. Please give more time, I need some more time, and please let me go now.
- I don’t believe Henry will change and you don’t like him anymore. You should be honest with yourself. Tom will understand I am sure. Please, think about us. I don’t want to lose you. I love you, Claire. I love you a lot. Think about that.
- I have to go now.
- When will I see you again?
- I don’t know. I will have an appointment at 3pm tomorrow, so I will call you to confirm by 5pm.
- Okay, I will wait for.

Claire was standing near the window, looking through the curtains. Her figure looked like a shadow; she looked immobilized, she was far from there, her mind flying so far from there.
Greg was lying down in bed admiring her nude silhouette. Suddenly he stood up and approached her, and slowly kissed her on her back near her neck. He then turned her head with his two hands side by side touching her long hair lying down on her shoulders and kissed her head, then a long kiss in her mouth. Claire did not move, she just gave him a big hug back, then moving slowly. She gathered her clothes together and dressed herself, tied back her hair as usual, picked up her bag and put on her sun glasses and went towards the door. She opened the door and stopped a moment before leaving; looking for Greg’s eyes for several seconds then turned her back, and closed the door. Claire walked to the elevator.

The Greg cell's phone rings:

- Hi Cate, I am surprised you calling me now? Everything is fine? Where are you?
- I called just to say hi. I am at home, everything is fine and the children are fine too.
- Don’t wait for me tonight. I will be late for diner.
- Okay, we will have dinner without you. Take care. Love you, bye

Claire arrived at the entrance of the hotel, stopped and checked for message in her cell phone. No messages. She lit a cigarette, smoked a little, and started walking to the park where her car was parked. She finished the cigarette, got into the car and drove away.

From the window of the hotel Greg looked at her. He could not understand why she still stayed with Henry. He followed her car with his eyes until it disappeared around the corner of the street. He closed the window curtains and made ready to leave the room

Another car was parked not far from the hotel and somebody inside the car watched Claire’s car disappeared around the street corner and at Greg’s hotel window too. The person looked at their watch, checked the time, became worried, started the car and left.

There were no clouds in the sky, the sun was still shining and a beautiful fall had begun. Outside, on the street and the traffic jam was noisy.

Henry’s cell phone rings:

- Hi, no I am not late honey, I am on the way. Don’t worry, I will be on time.
- You know Tom, please don’t be late. He doesn’t like to wait when he’s alone.
- Where are you Claire?
- On the way to pick up the children.
- Don’t worry honey. I will be with Tom soon. Love you, bye.

Later, at Claire's home, the phone rings:

- Mom, dad is late. It is late mom. I don’t want to sleep here mom. I want to be home. Please come to pick me up mom.
- Don’t worry son, dad will be there soon and everything will be fine. I promise you will sleep at home. Be calm and everything will be fine. I promise you. Mom loves you Tom. Bye.


Copyright
Lene Machado
2007